Do you suffer from: Irregular bowel movements, gas, fatigue, nausea and depression, nervous irritability, coated tongue, headaches, bad breath and body odor, a frequent bloated feeling or mental dullness?.
If you do....then.... the next time someone says,
"You are full of S...!", they are probably right.
  As you read this you may be carrying 5-10 lbs
(or much more) of waste material around all the time.
  This awful excess baggage is sabotaging your system
every minute of the day and night.   You may be carrying
this chemical time bomb.   It is easy to determine.
- Are your stools well formed but not very dense?
- Do your stools float?
- Do you eliminate at lease twice each day.
- Do your stools pass easily with no grunting needed?
- When you are through is there little, if any, odor left in the bathroom? (Or are you obliged to build a bonfire to eliminate the smell?)
- Do you rarely "Cut the cheese"?
-
If you answered Yes to all of the above you may skip the rest
of this article.   One or more NO answers and you have a problem.
If all were No you have a major problem which you can deal with
rather easily within a few weeks.
Recent clinical research suggests that as much as 90% of
the maladies which trouble us may originate in the colon.  
The key word is Transit Time or the time is takes for food
to pass from one end out the other.   The ideal Transit Time
is about 12 hours.   For over 90% of those reading this it is at
least twice as long and, in many cases up to two weeks for older
people!
- The colon and bowel are the depository for all waste material
after food nutrients have been extracted and processed in the
bloodstream.   Decaying food ferments, forms gases,
as well as 2nd and 3rd generation toxins.
  The colon becomes a breeding ground for putrefactive bacteria,
viruses, parasites, molds, and many other yucky materials.
The problem is three fold:
- Non-food chemicals in our food and pollutants in the
environment.   An accumulation of these foreign substances can
dramatically weaken the immune system.   As more and more of
these chemicals pile up they will mutate producing 2nd generation
products which can be catastrophic to our system.  
Recent studies confirm that most bowel cancer is caused
by the accumulation of these chemicals.
- Over accumulation of body wastes and metabolic products that
are not excreted properly.   These wastes become a breeding ground
for parasite infestation.   If your Transit Time is poor you would
be amazed at all the living bacteria which are proliferating,
and mutating, like crazy in your waste products.  
- Slow Transit Time.   Your waste material ferments, becomes
rancid, and then recirculates through your body as toxic
substances causing havoc with your healthy cells.
For Sale....Cheap....A New Body....A New Life
The ideal way to build and maintain an efficient colon is to radically
change your diet.   In fact, if I thought you would do it
I would suggest you have several colon irrigations,
avoid all the delicious foods you love, and become a vegetarian.
  You would
pooh several times each day and each visit
to the toilet would last 15 seconds.
  You would rapidly attain your ideal weight, notice an
increased sex drive and develop a general feeling of euphoria
about life.
Of course in the real world you ain’t gonna do it and neither
am I for the acute anxiety we would suffer every time we saw a
steak, ice cream, fried foods, etc., would likely require
expensive psychiatric treatment!
OK, so now we have established that none of us will make much
of a sacrifice in order to live a long, vibrant, sexy life.
  What then shall we cowardly nonresolute wimps do?
  The answer is the ..........
Cheap Reliable Actively Poohing diet
The first step is to begin to rid your body of all the
piled up waste and toxins.   For the first 24 hours you
will eat no solid food.   It is really quite easy.  
Think about a glorious new life and set a day which,
come hell or high water, you will begin.
The only unusual product you need is natural psyllium fiber.
  Don’t waste money on Metamucil or other highly promoted products.
  The pure generic stuff sells for 5-8 clams for 12 oz. and
contains no chemicals.   Psyllium is virtually inert.  
It adds natural bulk to your diet.   In addition to adding
bulk fiber to your system, it acts as a gentle sandpaper on
the walls of your colon.   This gradually dislodges the
waste material which has been collecting for a long time.
A old friend is a proctologist.   He has performed many
Sigmoidoscopy’s (The Doc sticks a long, long, long tube in
your bottom).   He commented, "You would be astonished at
all the foreign waste material impacted in the walls of a dirty
colon".....which most of you have.   I showed him this
CRAP diet.   He laughed saying, "What are you trying to do...
put me out of business?"  
Then he related some proctologist humor.
One day a guy, who had accidently swallowed his glass eye,
was scheduled for a routine physical.   During the exam the Doc
told him to bend over and smile.  
The puzzled Doc then exclaimed, "What’s the matter?  
Don’t you trust me?."
On rising take an 8 oz glass of water with two fresh
squeezed lemons and 1 Tbsp. maple syrup.  
Add one heaping tablespoon of natural psyllium fiber.  
Do not take the highly promoted stuff which has other
ingredients.   A 12 oz. can of psyllium fiber
costs 5-7 dollars. Take 1 Sam's formula tablet.
Mid morning:   A glass of cranberry juice from concentrate
plus one Sam's Formula.
Lunch:   One glass of apple juice with another heaping
tblsp of psyllium. Take another of Sam's formula.
Mid Afternoon:   As much tea or tomato juice as you want.
  Add lemon juice if you wish.
Dinner:   One glass of papaya or pineapple juice to enhance enzyme
production and another glass of apple or tomato juice with
psyllium in it plus Sam's formula.
Before bed:   Take a brisk walk for at least 10 minutes.
  Have a cup of mint tea for relaxation and strength the next
day plus one of Sam's formula.
The following six days have a diet of steamed brown rice
and all the fruit or natural juice you want with at least
one tblsp. psyllium in one of the drinks.   Brown rice has
a mild nutty flavor.   Liven up the taste with some
Soy Sauce or BBQ sauce.   Eat all you want but eat slowly.
  Chew every bite completely.   Remember to take your
Sam's formula at least three times each day.
  As an alternative for lunch visit Taco Bell and get a
Bean Burrito for .59 cents.   They are nutritious, high in
fiber and protein, very low in cholesterol and saturated fat,
and quite tasty with some hot sauce.   As a bonus you get
190 mg. of calcium and 4 mg of iron.   If you are an old walrus
like me they will spring for a free drink.
  A filling lunch for peanuts.
- You may be surprised that you have little hunger.
  At the end of the seven days I guarantee you will feel
better than you have in years.   You will have lost some
weight.   While you will go to the bathroom more, you will
spend much less time on the toilet.   The net savings in
time may be used to indulge your hedonistic propensities
like........... uh....... sex.... remember???
- Your system is thinking, Whoa....what’s going on???
  Suddenly I need not allocate vital resources for dealing with
all the junk food.   Now I have time to burn up some of the
worthless fat and debilitating toxins which has been
accumulating for years.
- Hmmmmmmmm...lemme check the gauges.   Blood pressure down 4
points for the first time in memory.   Weight.........
I’ll be darned...down a few pounds.
Cholesterol....LDL down a bit...that’s news.  
What’s this
....the guys down in the colon are humming Chopin’s Nocturne.
  By golly is looks like all the machinery seems to be working
better but, Oh dear me, I better call maintenance at once.
  The Fartometer gauge shows no reading at all while
in the past
it was usually in the red zone and, on at least two occasions,
it went off scale which elicited a warning from the E.P.A.
about air pollution!
- Recently I enlisted ten locals, ages 28 to 79, to give the
CRAP diet a go.   All gave glowing reports.   Weight loss varied
from 2 to 8 lbs in one week!   After one week all returned to
more normal eating.   They grew fond of brown rice and
incorporated it into their normal diet
-
After 30 days Louise, 55, stopped by the office.   She was 5’5"
weighing 160 is now down to 135.   She claims a new lease on life.
She began to cry confiding she had been so ashamed to look into
the mirror for 30 years.   You know Louise, there is a major
downside to this.   You’re gonna have to buy an entirely new
wardrobe..   She just grinned from ear to ear chortling,
Yea, ain’t it awful!
- The others all lost some weight but that was not the
only thing which
impressed them.   It was the overall feeling of well-being
which they had not experienced for years.   A new found freedom
from the addiction to high fat-low nutrient foods can be yours.
  All agreed that it was much easier that they had anticipated.
- Well now....there you are. In only one week, on the CRAP
regimen, you can make a dramatic change in the way your body
functions.   Some wonderful things will slowly happen.
  When you finish the first week look deeply into the
mirror and congratulate yourself on a job well done.
  Of course the job is not finished. The future is in your hands......or mouth!
-
Don’t be surprised if your friends comment.
  Uh....gee whiz Margaret....you look great.
What have you been doing?.
  With a smug look you casually respond,
  I’m on the CRAP diet..
WARNING: Your libido may become very active.   Try not to
turn into an animal.  
Please advise us of your experience (In the interest of decency
you should omit the sordid details).
  Do NOT use diet drinks or any artificial sweetner.
They will sabotage your quest for losing weight!
- Many researchers have concluded that these products can be killers.  
Maybe so but that is not the problem for those who want to lose weight.
-
The more one drinks the hungrier one becomes.  
Your brain has a conditioned response to the sweet taste.
  The jargon used by scientists is
"cephalic phase response".  
For years your brain has associated the sweet taste with
new energy coming into the body.   When sweet taste
stimulates the tongue the brain programs the liver to prepare
for new energy from sugar.  
If the sweet taste is not followed by nutrient availability
an urge to eat will be the result.   Studies with rats clearly
show that when fed saccharin they soon become fat rats from overeating.
Note:   You have seen the mention of Sam's formula, a powerful antioxidant formula
in a base of Echinacea and while willow bark.   One can not buy it in stores.
 
It is available Here for under 8 dollars
for a 30 day supply.
The above diet is not one you will use forever.  
It is simply a way to gain confidence that you can conquer fat!
  We are researching a secret formula, provided at a Swiss clinic
which costs $5,000/week to attend.
An old friend went from a size 28 to 18 in three months.
  It is claimed to make weight loss almost foolproof.   As this is written (10-28-01) we are doing a mouse study to determine if this is truly magic.   We have tested many so-called miracle weight loss products.   All have failed.   If this shows promise, we will recruit 100 "Guinea Pigs", who are at least 50 lbs. over weight, for a beta test.   If you want to be notified, you must subscribe to my free newsletter.
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Information on Sam's formula
The only 100% foolproof way to
lose weight.
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